Down To Earth Newsletter
Volume 5 – Issue 8 – October, 2006
Hawkins Home Makeover – In the May issue of this newsletter, we featured a request for help for the Hawkins family, Tennessee residents whose home had been destroyed by a tornado. Amy, the mother of two small children, sacrificed her mobility to keep her youngsters safe. The response to their need for help was outstanding and ABC Extreme Home Makeover has built them a whole new home. Thanks for those who contributed and signed the petition that was sent to ABC! (Click the link to see the story and photos on the ABC website.)
Breast Cancer 3-Day Post Office – If you would like to send me mail that I would actually receive AT THE BREAST CANCER 3-DAY WALK, you can mail postcards or letters (no boxes/packages) to the following address by October 20th:
Breast Cancer 3-Day Camp Post Office – Arizona
Attn: Marlo Archer – Participant ID: 45320691
1200 W. 35th Ave Suite #360
Chicago, IL 60609
Debunking Myths – Follow-Up
Last month, we reported a question about psychological abuse that came from a future reader, Lee H., that we had just met at the Art of Recovery Expo.
Current reader, Thea T., offered this in support of Lee H. and we wanted to include it here, as follow up:
A message of support to Lee H. It takes guts and courage to stand up for ones self when the situation is unhealthy. Congratulations for your accomplishment and for loving yourself enough to get out. I have found one thing to be true in my own healing process, no one understands unless they have been through it themselves. My unsolicited advise would be to forgive and have patience with your unknowing/unconscious family members, when needed speak your truth quietly and clearly and seek out others who can and will support you. Best wishes to you as you create and reestablish your womanly spirit and power.Blessings,
Thea
Thanks, Thea!
Debunking Myths – Messing with Meth – Is Tweaking a Big Deal?
Myth: This month’s question arises from the increasing frequency with which I have been coming into contact with individuals whose lives are being affected by someone’s use of methamphetamine, also known as crystal meth. Using crystal meth is commonly referred to as ‘tweaking,’ referring to the hyper, paranoid, bizarre behavior that chronic meth users engage in. People are becoming more and more familiar with meth and it’s users and lots of people are starting to wonder, “Is Tweaking really a big deal?”
Fact: The Traditional Dr. Marlo short answer to that question is, “Yes.” The longer answer is, “Absolutely, yes.” For those of you who want a little more explanation, read on.
The first enormous problem with meth is that you can make it at home out of chemicals that, although they are getting harder to obtain, are still fairly easily obtained or fabricated by those who are determined to make, sell, or use crystal meth. The next enormous problem is that meth is insanely addictive. There are few things that compare to a meth high, and users report an incredibly irresistible urge to use again and again and again, as quickly as possible. Not that other drugs aren’t addictive, cocaine and heroin are certainly comparable to meth in that department, but meth is just more available than the others, so it is easier to feed the cravings and become quite disastrously addicted in a very short amount of time. Another enormous problem with meth is that it quite quickly and irreversibly causes damage to the brain. This damage can result in permanent impairment of judgment and insight and permanent dysregulation of emotions. That is, after using meth, even if you quit, sometimes the negative effects will absolutely never reverse themselves. It’s not something to mess around with. If you know of someone who is thinking of dabbling with it, do whatever you can to talk them out of it. If someone you love is using, move heaven and earth to get them aggressive, long-term help or they could be lost forever. Tweaking is most certainly a big deal.
September Discussion Question: Who, in your life, would really benefit from your forgiveness, if only you could give it?
This month, a new reader, Kathy M. offers this from Texas:
I really wish I could forgive my birth mother for giving me up for adoption. I was adopted into a wonderful family who loved me very much and I don’t regreat that, but I still harbor resentment for the woman who gave me up in the frist place. If she ever came looking for me, I would hope I could extend forgiveness to her, but for now I can’t. I would probably benefit most of all from forgiving her, though.
You’re right, Kathy! Your Dr. Marlo prizes are on their way to you now!
October Discussion Question: Why is it so hard to admit mistakes?
E-mail answers to: discussion@drmarlo.com and answers will appear next month. Your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used unless you tell us not to use them. Anyone who responds and also includes a mailing address will receive one of the “Return to Wellness” Roomarangs as well as temporary tattoos until supplies are exhausted.
Thought For The Day: Pain is the one teacher who will remain even when you reject all the others.
NEW FEATURE – PERSONAL GROWTH EXERCISE
To promote our E-Coaching services, our newsletter now includes a personal growth exercise each month. These exercises illustrate the kinds of activities you may be asked to complete if you were using our E-Coaching services. The exercises printed here are quite general in nature, but the exercises sent to our E-Coaching clients are individualized to meet each client’s specific needs. We are currently offering 10 E-Coaching Sessions at the Introductory price of $100 total.
Visualizing a Different Future
This is a simple exercise that can get you started on a very difficult task. It has to do with visualizing how things could possibly be different for you and actually allowing yourself to ‘try on’ the idea of having things be different. Then, you make a plan for yourself to begin working towards the changes, concluding with a promise to yourself to take the first step.
1. Ask yourself what the problem is. You may answer, “I don’t have enough money,” “I never finished high school,” “I’m unhappy in my relationship,” “My bathroom is a mess,” “I am sick and tired of having to tell my son to put his socks away,” or anything else that concerns you. There are no right or wrong answers here, you get to say what the problem is that you are going to address.
2. Ask yourself what end result you desire. Using the examples above, you may desire to have 3 million dollars in your savings account, to have a high school diploma, to transform your relationship to a loving, fulfilling, joyful partnership, to have a gorgeous and clean bathroom, or to never see any grubby socks laying in the hallway. Again, don’t judge yourself or your desired end results. You can allow yourself to dream big dreams and desire extravagant goals.
3. Now, spend at least 10 minutes a day for a solid week visualizing what life would be like if you got what you desired. Allow yourself to daydream about how your life would change if you had $3 Million in the bank. Fantasize about all the things you could accomplish if only you had your high school diploma. Really see yourself in your loving relationship and imagine what that would be like. Think about exactly what your bathroom would look like and how it would be to use a clean bathroom, or visualize yourself gliding through your home, never once encountering a dirty sock. Let yourself live in the fantasy moment for 10 minutes every day for an entire week.
4. Then ask yourself what you can do to begin moving towards that goal. Chances are, you may have already started moving towards the goal without even really trying. When we visualize things being different, we begin to act as if they are different and when we act in different ways, we begin to impact our environment. List all the things that can be done to move yourself towards your desired result. Again, don’t judge whether or not you can do all those things, just list them out.
5. Now make a list of all the people who can and will help you do those things. Really stretch your mind. Think of everyone in your family, your neighborhood, your workplace, friends, acquaintances, people you know of but do not know personally, and professionals. Make as long a list as you can of the people who can be your supporters in the task of making your dream a reality.
6. Finally, ask yourself when you will start and then set an actual date to begin. Put that date on your calendar and make that promise to yourself that on that date you will begin moving towards your desired outcome by doing the things you can do and by asking your identified helpers for things that require assistance.
7. Make a weekly or a monthly ‘date’ with yourself to assess your progress and plot your next step.
For a FREE 10-Session Trial of E-Coaching, send us a report of how this activity worked for you! Send to FreeSessions@drmarlo.com. (Offer Expires 11-16-06)
E-Coaching! Introductory Price – Only $100 for Ten Sessions
Not every problem is a mental illness. Not every issue is a trauma. Not every botherment is an emotional disorder. For life’s daily issues and for personal growth, now there is E-Coaching! Dr. Marlo Archer offers a 10-session consultation package for people who are not diagnosed with any mental illness who would just like some coaching, some guidance, or some personal growth. We are currently offering the 10-Session package for the introductory price of $100. Begin by using PayPal to send a $100 payment to DrMarlo@drmarlo.com, then send an e-mail to that same e-mail address, expressing your specific area of concern to begin!
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Entertainment & Education
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness has been held on Friday mornings since July without much additional interest. Expect a change back to Thursday nights in January, or suggest a new date/time. Each month we show a free movie with a mental health theme. Interested parties can stay after the movie for a discussion about the movie. One credit informal CE awarded for a $10 fee. Upcoming Features: October 13 – Saw. Networking at 9:00am, Movie at 9:15am, Discussion until 11:30am. December 8 – Special All-Day Star Wars Movie Marathon. January – Fearless. February – Derailed. Sign up for Movie Madness updates by sending a blank e-mail with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to MovieMadness@drmarlo.com.
Publish Your Work – Promote your Practice – Two ways to publish – for free as a semi-anonymous author (your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used), or, for $10, as a professional promoting a mental health practice (your full name, with credentials, address, phone number, and e-mail address will be included). We reserve the right to decline to publish any submissions. Send creative contributions to: articles@drmarlo.com.
Dr. Marlo in the Media – We write a monthly column about teenagers for Arizona Together Newspaper, Arizona’s Good News “Newspaper,” Established 1991. Read September’s article about Rights and Responsibilities. Arizona Together currently reaches 50,000 readers monthly who are interested in recovery from addictions of all kinds.
We write a monthly column for children in EduKid newspaper, a new paper dedicated to school children, their teachers, and their parents. EduKid is currently distributed to over 10,000 school children in Mesa, Arizona.
The Psychology Session – Internet Radio Show – Season Two – Season Two has begun, complete with the addition of our broadcasting intern, Ryan. Check out our new sound this season thanks to Ryan. A change in scheduling has derailed our live broadcast, but we will still be regularly uploading new shows for podcatching and for download, so just go to our archives and download any of our shows. We welcome show suggestions and advertising sales. E-mail suggestions or inquiries to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com. Order SEASON ONE ON CD! Only $10. Send requests to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com.
Keep the comments coming, I love to hear from our readers! –Marlo J. Archer, Ph.D.
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TO PODCATCH THE PSYCHOLOGY SESSION:
This is an introduction to the podcatching process, by Techie Jon Archer, translated into English (but very poorly understood) by Dr. Marlo Archer.
Podcasting is the process of broadcasting over the internet and Podcatching is the process of receiving, or subscribing to, such broadcasts. Although these procedures were popularized by the Apple iPod devices, you do not need to own an iPod to have fun with Podcasting and Podcatching.
Devin Jones, M.Ed. and Dr. Marlo have been Podcasting an internet show called The Psychology Session for almost a year now. Now you can learn how to Podcatch it.
However, if you do already own and regularly use an iPod to subscribe to Podcasts, all you need to do is add the following link to your subscriptions to begin receiving our show:
http://www.drmarlo.com/currentevents/index2.php?option=com_podcast&feed=RSS2.0&no_html=1
The rest of you will first need to download a Podcatcher. That is software and we recommend one called, “Juice,” which is free. To download and install Juice:
Go to http://juicereceiver.sourceforge.net/index.php. Download the version of Juice that will work with your machine – either Windows, or Mac, or Linux. You will be asked to ‘select a mirror.’ All that means is that you’re selecting a website from which to download the free software. There are ‘mirrors’ all over the world. Find one that is close to your location and click the “Download” link. When a window opens to ask what you want to do with the program, select “save to disk,” then hit, ‘okay.’
When the program file is done downloading, go to where the file is and open it. That is, go to where your computer puts new downloads and open the program. It will be called something like: JuiceSetup.exe. It will probably have numbers between the words Juice and Setup (e.g. Juice22Setup.exe.), but those numbers may change between today and when you try this process, so I am not going to put exact numbers in there right now. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter, you probably don’t have anything else in your download folder that looks like JuiceSetup anyhow. It will be an ‘executable’ file and your computer may have some concerns about that, but that’s okay and you should reassure your machine that it will be alright.
The Juice Setup Wizard will then take over and help you install the program. For most common folk, all the default settings are fine, just agree with everything and keep hitting, ‘okay’ or ‘next.’ until you get through all the screens. The only thing you may want to change is that you may want for Juice to be installed into your start-up folder, meaning that it would automatically check for new broadcasts every time you power up your machine. If you specifically want that, you have to select that during the installation process. The default is to only put an icon on your desktop. For those of you who are intimidated by this process, the desktop icon alone will be fine, so don’t worry about anything I just said, just let the Wizard install Juice the way it wants to.
You may have a firewall that informs you that Juice is trying to access the internet. You should let it. You then must agree with the licensing agreement to begin using the program.
Then you can follow the ITunes Setup Assistant to configure it for your machine. It will probably inform you that Juice is not set to handle some file types and ask you if you want to set them now. You can hit ‘yes.’ and then hit ‘save’ when it goes to the ‘one-click subscription’ options. The items: .rss and podcast should already be checked, and that’s fine.
Now, to subscribe to our show, The Psychology Session, click on the little green plus sign, to add a subscription. When the window opens, cut and paste this into the URL space:
http://www.drmarlo.com/currentevents/index2.php?option=com_podcast&feed=RSS2.0&no_html=1
and then hit ‘save.’
It will instantly catalog all our past shows for you and only the most recent one will be selected to download. You can download as many or as few as you want. Select the shows you want to download by checking the little box to the left of the show titles. Then, when you are ready to download them, click on the green square button that has two yellow arrows on it. (Hovering over the button reveals the words, “Check for new podcasts”)
Once your selected shows are downloaded, a green ‘play’ button will appear next to each show you downloaded. Click on that ‘play’ button to play the show.
When you’re ready to quit listening and close the Juice program, it will ask you if you want to just leave Juice running in the background. If you do that, it will automatically download new episodes of The Psychology Session if any come out while your computer is still on. To have Juice running constantly, you would have had to let it install itself into your start-up directory during the installation process.
When you return to your computer on another day and you want to check if you have any new podcasts, click on the Juice icon (a yellow lemon) to open the Juice program.
This whole process will create a new directory in the “My Documents” directory, called “My Received Podcasts.” It will even organize each of your subscriptions into it’s own folder. There should be a folder there for The Psychology Session, if you installed it correctly and downloaded at least one show.
There may also be some sort of Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel there, and you can just ignore that. Deleting it probably won’t actually make it go away. If you really don’t want it there, then you have to go into the Juice program and unsubscribe from the Adam Curry iPodder Test Channel, then go delete the folder. Otherwise, it will just keep downloading the welcome message for you. You will also be automatically subscribed to “Juice News” which doesn’t currently have any messages in it. You can unsubscribe from that or ignore it, whichever you prefer.
That’s it. You’d be subscribed to our show and ready to Podcatch!