Down To Earth Newsletter
Volume 6 – Issue 10 – November, 2007
Train with the Masters – Therapists are invited to a 4-day psychodrama training with 2006 J.L. Moreno Award winner, Dr. Dorothy Satten and Dr. Mort Satten. Held November 15-18 at the lovely Sabino Canyon Comfort Suites in Tucson, you will get the chance to learn and practice psychodrama, do some of your own work, and earn CE’s while relaxing in the desert. Class size is limited. Download the registration today!
Debunking Myths – Loving Mothers Never Get Angry at Their Children
Myth: We are somewhat socialized to believe that mothers should be gentle, patient, kind, nurturing, generous, flawless individuals, who love their children above everything else in the world and who would never harm their children in any way or think or say an unkind word about their children. That sometimes leads mothers to believe that they should never get angry at their children or lose their patience or their cool and that if they do, they are horrible monsters who are undeserving of the sacred gift of children.
Fact: A mother who never gets angry or irritable, who never raises her voice, who never ever ever speaks an unkind word is in a coma. The rest of the mothers on the planet are human and will occasionally experience human weaknesses. Now, this is in no way an encouragement to scream at your kids or to get out the wooden spoon and start dishing out street justice in the kitchen. Clearly, too much is too much. However, to have the expectation that you’re never ever ever going to slip up is simply too high of an expectation and will leave mothers in a constant state of despair and failure and that’s not any more healthy for the children than beating them is.
Moms need to show their kids how to be humans. Good humans, but humans, nonetheless. Moms can show kids what it’s like to lose your cool, recognize that you’ve temporarily lost your cool, collect yourself, heal yourself, then apologize and start over on a better foot. Moms can show kids what it’s like to have a particularly bad day, reach a breaking point, cry, rest, reorient oneself to the ongoing situation, and bravely begin again. Moms can demonstrate, for their children, what’s it’s like to say something horrible that you can never take back, sit with the pain and guilt of one’s own behavior, then offer a sincere, genuine apology to the injured party, and wait patiently while the trust is rebuilt and be calm and dignified until forgiveness is offered.
Those are important skills your child will need as an adult and they won’t know how to do those things unless they’ve seen them demonstrated. So, when you mess up a little bit, don’t immediately go to guilt, shame, and self-punishment. Recognize that your actions are human and are a great teaching opportunity for your children, and show them how to un-do goof-ups.
September Discussion Question: In What Way Have You Changed For the Better in the Last 5 Years?
Frequent contributor, Laura, in WI, offers this:
Got out of my 2nd alcoholic marriage, started attending Al-anon so I don’t make the same mistakes again.
C.S. in Phoenix, AZ shares this response:
I have become much more trusting and able to realize that what needs to happen will happen and that I do not need to control every little thing going on, especially other people. I have learned to be patient and less judgmental. This makes it so much easier to be with others: letting go of expectations that people will be a certain way makes it easier and more fun to just accept people the way they are. This includes me. I accept responsibility for creating my own reality and am able to recognize when I am victimizing myself with my own thinking. This makes it so much easier to make a shift to feeling empowered.
Way to go, Folks, those are outstanding changes!!! Your DrMarlo prizes are on their way!
October Discussion Question: If you could rewind time 5 minutes, once in your life, what would you erase if you could?
E-mail answers to: discussion@drmarlo.com and answers will appear next month. Your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used unless you tell us not to use them. Anyone who responds and also includes a mailing address will receive our fantastic information cards, NEW RECOVERY REMINDERS, and a couple of temporary tattoos, just for fun.
Thought For The Day: Thoughts become things.
PERSONAL GROWTH EXERCISE
To spotlight our E-Coaching services, our newsletter includes a personal growth exercise each month. These exercises illustrate the kinds of activities our clients are asked to complete when they are using our E-Coaching services. The exercises printed here are quite general in nature, but the exercises sent to our E-Coaching clients are individualized to meet each client’s specific needs. We currently offer a package of 10 E-Coaching Sessions for $500.
Pleasure Hunt
Remember Scavenger Hunts? Someone would make a list of odd items, distribute the list to a group of kids, then send the youngsters out into the world, racing around looking for infrequently occurring, rare, or difficult to find things. Whoever finished their list first was the winner, but the real fun was in the search. This month’s coaching activity is a take-off on the childhood scavenger hunt or treasure hunt and I’m calling it a “Pleasure Hunt.”
I’ve made a list of 30 items to search for in the upcoming month. As you ‘find’ each item, take a few moments and experience the pleasure that is associated with the item. If you have a few minutes, just stop what you’re doing and focus entirely on the item and having the full joy, bliss, happiness, and pleasure that the item offers. Then, mark it off your list and return to life, a little more cheery, and continue to look for the other items.
You may want to use this as a game amongst your family members, co-workers, a classroom, roommates, or challenge yourself to find, and enjoy these items every month.
Download and Print the Pleasure Hunt List Here
For a FREE 5-Session Trial of E-Coaching, send us a report of how this activity worked for you! We may share your report in our next newsletter with your name, last initial, and state of residence (unless you tell us not to). Send to FreeSessions@drmarlo.com. (Offer Expires 12-11-07)
PRACTICE SPOTLIGHT – Camille Smith, MA, LPC, ATR-BC
Art Therapy; Healing Ourselves through Personal Expression
By Camille Smith
I believe that we all have the answers we need within us; that our healing can come through our attending to our pain. By creating a drawing or collage about something that we want to change in our lives we begin the process of opening to what we need to learn from the problem. Creating a painting or sculpture allows us to release emotions, the first step in the healing process. With some distance, emotional problems are often more readily understood. As we gain self-awareness we begin to make different choices; to solidify a vision of a desired, positive outcome in our personal growth and healing. Art making can capture this vision in real form to give us a clear direction to the life changes we desire.
Art Therapy can benefit anyone who would participate in traditional counseling. One does not need artistic talent or experience to reap the rewards of this non-verbal therapeutic method. One only needs a desire to make positive changes and openness to how this can be achieved. It is a privilege for me to be a part of assisting others in making positive life changes, in growth and healing. Art Therapy is just one of many valuable tools for personal transformation.
A resident of the Valley since 1990, I have focused much of my art therapy practice on the use of creative expression in recovery and rehabilitation for people with psychiatric illness. From 2002-2006 I had the privilege of growing and developing a program of PSA called Art Awakenings, a vocational art and art therapy program for adults who have serious psychiatric illness. I am a licensed professional counselor and a board certified, Registered Art Therapist. Former Associate Faculty for ASU teaching art therapy courses, I am currently the Core Faculty for the Expressive Art Therapy program of
My office is located at
E-Coaching! Try it Now!
Not every problem is a mental illness. Not every issue is a trauma. Not every botherment is an emotional disorder. For life’s daily issues and for personal growth, now there is E-Coaching! Dr. Marlo Archer offers a 10-session consultation package for people who are not diagnosed with any mental illness who would just like some coaching, some guidance, or some personal growth. We are offering the 10-Session package for $500. Begin by using PayPal to send a $500 payment to DrMarlo@drmarlo.com, then send an e-mail to that same e-mail address, expressing your specific area of concern to begin!
Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness – Entertainment and Education
Each month we show a free movie with a mental health theme. Interested parties can stay after the movie for a discussion about the movie. One credit informal CE awarded for a $10 fee. Networking 7:15-7:30pm, Movie at 7:30pm, Discussion until 10pm. Upcoming Features: Thursday, December 13 – THE SECRET. January 17 – They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? February 21 – October Sky (Suggested relentlessly by Duane Brickner) Suggest movies for March 20th, April 17, or May 15. If your selection is chosen and you have included your mailing address, we will send you a FREE DVD MOVIE from previous years’ Dr. Marlo’s Movie Madness. Sign up for Movie Madness updates by sending a blank e-mail with ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to MovieMadness@drmarlo.com.
Publish Your Work – Promote your Practice – Two ways to publish – for free as a semi-anonymous author (your state of residence, your first name and last initial will be used), or, for $10, as a professional promoting a mental health practice (your full name, with credentials, address, phone number, and e-mail address will be included). We reserve the right to decline to publish any submissions. New subscribers THIS MONTH = 61. Send creative contributions to: articles@drmarlo.com.
Dr. Marlo in the Media
We write a monthly column about teenagers for Arizona Together Newspaper, Arizona’s Good News “Newspaper,” Established 1991. Read November’s Article, “Kids Can Recover Despite Their Parents” online. Arizona Together currently reaches 50,000 readers monthly who are interested in recovery from addictions of all kinds.
The Psychology Session – Internet Radio Show – SEASON THREE UNDERWAY – We’re Back! All three seasons of The Psychology Session are now available online – and – you don’t have to even download them anymore, you can just play them right out of the webpage! Let’s hear it for Producer Jon! We continue to welcome show suggestions and advertising sales. E-mail suggestions or inquiries to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com. Order SEASON ONE AND TWO ON CD! Only $20. Send requests to PsychologySession@drmarlo.com.
As Thanksgiving approaches, I am grateful for each and every one of you who read this newsletter! –Marlo J. Archer, Ph.D.
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